It was Saturday July 4th 2009, and I was at home with my dearest love and soulmate Daniel and one of my best friends, Margo, and I was feeling pretty good. Daniel and I had dropped half an acid trip earlier on in the evening and had spent the better part of 4 hours laughing and generally being playfully ridiculous.
We were watching a dvd and starting to settle down when Margo arrived home and suggested more acid so she borrowed the car and went to see Amy at work. She came back home with DMT. Now apparently this DMT wasn't even the strong stuff, there was another batch that was meant to be even more divine.
She divided the white powder into three lots and we grabbed Paul's bong because I wanted to do it at the same time as Daniel for our first go. He agreed and Margo made up a couple of pipes with some weed layered with the DMT.
I'd spoken with a few people about DMT and their experiences with it. I have never read any actual literature but after the event I am quite fascinated with researching this unique and divinely powerful entheogen. Some people spoke of elves, many of colours and communing with a female divinity, another guy said he hated it, all he saw was an umbrella filled with cigarettes, but I somehow knew I wouldn't have a bad experience on it, and I felt very safe and happy in my own space so it seemed to be the right time to partake in this unique experience.
Even now as I write this 2 days after, I feel like my journey with DMT has really had a positive impact on my consciousness and existence. What I distinctly remember, I have been thinking about and reviewing in my mind and cannot believe how blessed I am to have had the opportunity to "see" what I did.
So back to the story.
We made ourselves comfortable on the bed and Margo passed us each a bong. We were playing Younger brother which is music similiar to Shpongle but in hindsight I would have gone with Shpongle it's much more organic and familiar. Or perhaps no music next time. I'm undecided because for me when i was coming out of the trip I felt as if the music was playing a part in lengthening my trip, that it was an organic part of it somehow and it was helping to grow and shape my entrance back into this "reality".
Margo advised that we should pull the cone and pass it to her asap as the the trip starts very quickly and we were to lie down and close our eyes. We gave each other a kiss and off we went.
My main recollection of the beginning of the experience was the DMT in my cone lighting up, pulling through and me passing the orange lighter to Margo. I don't clearly recall her taking the bong as I lay or fell back onto the bed. I remember saying to Daniel, "Hold my hand" and being able to grasp it and then I was totally under, within 3-4 seconds. As I went under I remember this distinct feeling of physical space dropping away and for most of the time I wasn't aware of my physical being.
This feeling was really quite uncanny, I've had my fair share of LSD, Mushrooms and party drugs but this was totally out of this world the room dissolving into this geometry as I shut my eyes, I think Daniel and I were cuddling throughout and I remember wiggling my fingers and toes because that was the one thing that stopped me from feeling as if I and the world as I knew it had actually ceased to exist!
Daniel became confused at one stage and tried to get up. This was the first time I opened my eyes. It was like being in a vacuum with him, almost like windy underwater, everything was rapidly shifting and moving at great pace even though I knew we were still on our bed in the physical world it was if I had crossed into a different plane. You know how when Frodo puts the ring on in LOTR? LIke that but not as scary and more colorful. (And nobody trying to kill you either)
I asked him to stay with me when he tried to go and as I asked I looked behind him and apart from all the whirling vortex layering of my vision and intensity of colours I could see a gathering of native americans, mostly tribal males with feather headdresses on, I guess they were watching over us in a way. I wasn't scared of them but the sound was like a bustling market of people, whether it was talking or chanting I couldn't hear clearly, perhaps both. There was one man in particular, he had a kindly wise face.
After he lay back down with me I went straight back into this intense visual trip, I say visual but I had my eyes closed. I had a feeling of physical intensity like all of my being was focused to one point and I could hear this ping of energy building, I thought Margo was saying relax, relax but when I spoke to her afterward she said she wasn't. I eventually just sort of "let go" and the noise popped and I was exploded into this banded, spiral, fractal, shiny, rainbow world of infinite vastness, energy and pure love. It took my breath away.
I felt an intense connection to Daniel that was echoed in it's strength by the vastness and infinity of this space and I think I was crying and saying I love you, I love you, and we shared a couple of soft kisses but I was totally disconnected from my physical body throughout this part. I could feel his hair and it became part of the trip, it always gets in the way when we're making love but I had this understanding that it was our strength, our crowning glory.
I remember being overwhelmed with love and ever increasing wonder and awe at the connectedness and infinity and colours. I say colours but they were so iridescent, so vivid and pulsating and patterned and interchangeable and composed of fractals and swirls, that I couldn't believe something so breathtakingly beautiful could exist or that I WAS EXPERIENCING IT!
I felt like a veil had been lifted from my eyes and I was seeing the framework of energy that all life is built on, I saw that our reality was a projection of our conscious existence and space and time did not really exist in this vastness. All normal measurements of time, space, distance did not apply here. I could feel Margo watching over us and the music that was playing seemed to be intricately linked to our love and this amazing divine dream we were all a part of.
I had this moment of pur clarity and understanding that everything was right and perfect, and the futile pursuits of life such as drinking or taking "drugs' was pretty unnecessary. I felt a renewal in my being, an awakening and a relaxing at the same time, a feeling that my existence was a focusing, a point of reference part of this eternal infinite play of pattern and energy and power and life.
As I was coming out, I could sit up and look around and the room was layered and patterned and what looked like coloured sunbeams were filling up the room. You know how when you fold up a piece of paper and cut patterns into it and then you make a pretty pattern when the paper is unfolded? The air was filled with these sort of recurring patterns and everything looked intensely alive with energy and geometrical coloured waves and beams of light. I felt so euphoric. I'd never imagined I could see such a sight.
I had trouble speaking. Coming back into my body, I wasn't sure if I was actually speaking or not. The disengagement from my physical being was so great and complete it was as if I had to learn how to talk again, how to use my mouth. When I was able I got up to take a look around. I was stunned that i was actually "back" I remember thinking while I was under, "What will happen if I stay here?" The world felt so solid underneath my feet so different to the infinite jewelled metamorphic vastness.
That's about all I've got for now. Margo says we were under for about 20 minutes. In real time it felt like about 3 mins, when I was there it felt like time didn't even exist.
What an amazing gift.
Maybe after I ponder this experience a bit more I'll try it again. Amy said each time you do it it gets better. I don't know how it could possibly get better but then again I"ve seen colours that I never knew existed, so who am I to say?
Wow (:
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